(Chapter 2)
by
Jocelyn Stewart
Autumn in the mountains was a sight to cause anyone to burst into song. Joyanne sat watching the spectacular show the foliage was putting on as the train toiled its way around another steep bend on its slow climbed up to Broken Promise.
The town of Broken Promise had very little to recommend it. People still used horses to get around even though selyn powered vehicles were commonplace everywhere else. The only reason for the town’s existence was that it sat on a vein of one of the most coveted of metals, platinum. Platinum, in a place the geologists said there couldn’t possibly be any. The vein was the largest know in all the territories and the locals made sure that it was taken out of the mountain with the greatest care and in such parsimonious amounts as to keep the price up. The entire mountain was owned by the town. The town was made up of mostly one family the Edrians.
The soft sounds of infant contentment made Joyanne look down. “You are a cutie.” Tiera Owon daughter of Tearni and Alicen Owon rested peacefully in her arms. A soft weight to distract her from the weight in her heart.
“I can take her now Joy.” Alicen held out her arms to take her daughter. For some strange reason Mayborne Archer had assigned Alicen to escort Joyanne to Broken Promise and to escort her husband Tearni back to Keepsake Hill.
“May I hold her for a while longer?” Joyanne didn’t want to loose the feeling of connectedness that Tiera gave her. She had been surprised and glad when Controller Mayborne Archer had relented and arranged for her to take Tearni’s place at Broken Promise Sime Center so that he could be with his wife and daughter back at Keep Sake Hill. But now she was feeling set adrift again.
“Of course hold her as long as you like.” Alicen smiled gently at the both of them.
Joyanne shifted Tiera’s tiny weight and smiled as a little fist waved at her for causing the disturbance. “Thank you.” Holding Tiera she watched the glory of autumn roll by.
As the train pulled into the station Joyanne could see a small group of people standing on the platform. She recognized Tearni Owon but not the Sime standing next to him. Alicen was almost vibrating with joy as she waited for the train to stop. Reluctantly Joyanne gave Tiera back to her mother and collected her bags from under the seat. As the train lurch to a stop the passengers rose from their seats and began to get off.
On the platform Alicen presented her husband with the wriggling bundle of their daughter. Tearni stood there staring down at the incredible gift of his daughter as she stared back at him. Tears ran unheeded down his face. “Thank you Alicen. She is so perfect.” He kissed Alicen gently and then pressed his lips to Tiera’s soft little cheek.
The scene made Joyanne want to cry. It was so right so what family should be. So unlike her own family.
“They do make a nice picture don’t they?” The Sime who had been standing with Tearni said coming toward Joyanne. She was dress in jeans and plain gray shirt instead of the Tecton issue coveralls.
“Yes they do. There should be more like them.” Joyanne turned to look at the woman more closely. She was as tall as Joyanne with medium brown skin, reddish gold hair that was pulled up into a ponytail on top of her head and eyes the color of moonlight. My name is Joyanne Hallenbek. Are you my escort?”
“Yes, my name is Ydara. May I help you with those?” she motioned to Joyanne’s bags.”
Joyanne smiled and gave Ydara the heaviest one. “Thanks.” She looked up in time to see Tearni coming toward her with Tiera still in one arm and Alicen clasped to him with the other.
“You weren’t trying to leave without my thanks were you?” he let go of Alicen long enough to grab Joyanne in a tight one armed hug. “Thank you my dear friend. I don’t know how you got Mayborne Archer to let me come home but thank you!” And he hugged her again so tightly that Ydara warned him not hurt her.
Joyanne squeezed him back and kissed the soft black curls on Tiera’s head. Then she let go of him.
Alicen hugged her one last time and kissed her on the cheek “Good bye Joy. Please, Joyanne, try to be happy here. You deserve to be happy you know.”
And then they were gone boarding the train for the ride home. Do I deserve to be happy?
Ydara touched Joyanne on the shoulder and reminded her that she had other things to do. “Sorry.”
“No problem. How long have you known the Owons?”
“Almost a year.”
“Tearni’s a good man. He has the potential to be a Second if he wanted to. But then he wouldn’t get to serve his wife in transfer any more. The Center is that way,” Ydara pointed with a tentacle. They headed for Joyanne’s new assignment.
***
Broken Promise Sime Center was more of the same. Same size same shape same neutral color walls and floors. If it hadn’t been for the incredible view of Promise Mountain, in all its fall splendor, out of Controller Makepeace’s office window Joyanne could have believed herself still at Keepsake Hill. But the view was the last thing on Joyanne’s mind. Sitting across from her quite comfortably was Controller Makepeace, Controller Ydara Makepeace QN-1.
Joyanne was still berating herself for not having twigged to who her escort was. She could always peg a First on sight but this one had gotten in under her nose. To say that she felt off balance would be an incredible understatement. How did she get pass me? Even as she sat there Joyanne wasn’t getting any sense of “First” from the Controller.
Ydara sat in her chair leaning slightly backward watching Joyanne’s nager do very interesting things. So this is the one Mayborne didn’t want to send me. Not too stable is she? Ydara was about to make a decision that could very easily end in death or disaster. Zlinning didn’t really give her the information that she wanted to make it. She pushed a light blue card across the desk to Joyanne.
Joyanne looked at Ydara sitting there so innocently. Her field hadn’t latched on to Joyanne in the way that Mayborne Archer’s had. It did seek her attention with a warm feeling of quiet request unlike the nagers of every other First she had worked with. Their nagers had demanded her attention as if she had no choice in the matter simply because she was in the same room with them. Perhaps that’s why I didn’t recognize her as a First she doesn’t feel like one. She picked up the card recognizing it as a special assignment.
“The Donor I am assigned to is not arriving for another three weeks and even then it will be a close thing. My last transfer was pretty awful and that is putting it mildly. I am finding that I require a Donor’s support almost constantly just to get through the normal activities of the day. I wish to place myself on your service exclusively until Evender arrives. You will not be required to give transfer for a month so it should work out.”
Alarm bells were going off in Joyanne’s mind. This sounded too much like another ploy to get her to qualify First Order. Looking straight into Ydara’s moonlit eyes she search for duplicity or ulterior motives of any kind. She set herself to listen to Ydara’s nager and still found only the quiet request she had heard from her all along. Even so Joyanne’s walls were setting into place with almost audible slams. “Controller Makepeace, I am a Third Order Donor not a First. I will assist you in anyway that a Third may but I cannot give you transfer. If you find no objection in that I will do as you request.”
Ydara suppressed a shudder at the sudden walls that Joyanne had erected against her. So, little turtle, you’ve decided to pull back into your shell. “I would not ask anything more of you than you are capable of.”
Ydara rose from her chair and came around the desk to stand in front of Joyanne. She leaned against her desk for a few moments before sighing deeply and shaking her head. “Joyanne you are going to have to do better than this.”
So, it begins. Joyanne looked straight into Ydara’s white gold eyes and said nothing listening intently. There was still no demand in her nager. Then suddenly Ydara dropped her show field. Joyanne gasped, there was such churning chaos in Ydara’s nager that it nearly overwhelmed her. The chaos was threatening to pull her into the maelstrom. Joyanne fought back instinctively. Joyanne, gave no support, what she did instead was manipulation. Her nager formed a wedge that pushed through to separate Ydara’s primary and secondary systems into distinct entities that could be dealt with one at a time. Touching the primary Joyanne felt for the point of balance. It kept slipping through her grasp. She built a wall of her own will around Ydara’s primary system and held it in quiet.
Ydara would have collapsed if Joyanne’s nager had not been holding her immobile. She was very aware of everything that the Donor was doing to her and she had no way to stop it. Her mind was screaming for her to do something to regain control of her own body but in the face of what Joyanne was there wasn’t a thing that Ydara could do except hope that Joyanne wouldn’t murder her for her rash action. Then it dawned on her what Joyanne was trying to accomplish. She could zlin the separation of her primary and secondary systems that Joyanne was reinforcing with her nager. Joyanne was trying to giver her a calm spot in the chaos to work to re-balance of her primary system so that she could reinforce her control over her secondary system. With that knowledge Ydara stopped fighting Joyanne and began working with her.
Joyanne’s concentration was absolute there was nothing in her world outside of Ydara and the sickening chaos that she held at bay. The instant that Ydara understood what Joyanne was trying to do Joyanne felt the calm increasing and the chaos fading at a steady rate. The whole incident was over in just a few seconds but Joyanne felt as if she had been holding back the tides of chaos for hours. Slowly she released her grip on Ydara’s primary system and looked up into those incredible eyes.
Ydara was shaking and her knees buckled. Joyanne lunged to catch her but her own knees gave way and they ended up on the floor in a tangle of arms and legs. The whole thing was so ridiculous that Ydara laughed out loud. After thinking about it a moment Joyanne was laughing just as loudly.
Ydara’s assistant, came running into the office to find the Controller and the Donor lying on the floor laughing like two crazed people. “Ahem! Controller Makepeace is everything all right?”
Looking up at him from her ignominious position she said, “Everything is fine Hanipal, was there something you required?”
“No Controller,” and he left without any further comment.
Ydara turned to Joyanne and smiled, “Thank you Sosu Hallenbek. I feel much better now.”
Joyanne looked at Ydara for a moment before she smiled and said, “You are welcomed Controller Makepeace.”
Ydara stood and offered Joyanne a hand up. She took it.
“Don’t you think we should drop the titles after all you have just been crawling around in my nervous system.” Ydara half expected Joyanne’s walls to start slamming back into place. When they didn’t she smiled.
“Yes,” Joyanne only hesitated a beat, “Ydara.”
***
Joyanne had never been a lazy person, contrary to Mayborne Archer’s opinion, but trying to keep up with Ydara was incredibly tiring. It turned out that Ydara was not only Controller of the Broken Promise Sime Center she was Tecton liaison to the Promise Mountain Group which controlled the platinum mining for the Edrian family. The Tecton required the metal for the manufacture of the high capacity selyn batteries and a few other vital technologies. To Joyanne’s consternation this meant the occasional trip to the PMG offices at the mine proper.
Ydara had informed Joyanne that they would be heading up-mountain to PMG and Joyanne hadn’t thought anything of it. Ydara had simply asked Joyanne to meet her behind the Center and they would leave from there. Joyanne had not given any thought to the mode of transportation until she opened the door to find Ydara standing there waiting for her holding the reins of two horses. Joyanne stood gaping at them and then managed to stammer, “I - I don’t ride. I mean I’ve never ridden a horse before.” Her heart was pounding and her mouth was suddenly very dry.
Ydara handed the reins to the Gen who had brought them and came to stand in front of Joyanne zlinning superficially. “Joyanne sit down.” The Donor was swaying slightly and tried to do as she was told before she fell down. Ydara helped her sit on a bench that was also used as a mounting block. She’s scared silly and there isn’t even a waiver in the ambient.
“Calm down Joy.” Joyanne wasn’t sure when Ydara had begun to call her by her nick name but it didn’t bother her as it would have from any other First.
Ydara was kneeling in front of her trying to get a hold of her field to help her get calmed down. “Joy, stop trying to control. Let me help.” Come on let go. Her reactions to everything are way out of proportion. Then suddenly Joyanne relaxed completely, “That’s better,” Ydara smiled at the Donor.
“Okay, you don’t do horses,” Ydara waggled her eyebrows at Joyanne and grinned.
Joyanne didn’t know whether to laugh or be offended at the comment. She decided to laugh. Ydara was delighted. “So how am I supposed to get up the mountain?”
“Behind me,” Ydara said getting to her feet and then pulling Joy up. “We’ll both ride Stampede.”
“Stampede?!?”
“Don’t worry he’s actually the gentlest horse in our stable. I requested him for you to ride but I’m sure he can take us both.” She walked over to the horse in question and patted him on the neck affectionately.
Joyanne looked at the spindly legs on the horse and then at Ydara, “Are you sure he can carry us both?”
“Stamp is Evender’s. Ev weighs more than the two of us combined. Stamp won’t even notice.” So saying she vaulted onto the horse’s back. He didn’t even flinch as her weight suddenly landed on him.
Joyanne watched as Ydara did something to make the horse walk sideways toward her. They stopped just before Joyanne decided to move out of the way. Ydara reached down to Joyanne with her left hand. “Trust me?”
Joyanne looked at her then the horse and said, “No.”
Ydara grinned and said, “Put your left foot on my foot and take my left hand in yours.” Thankful for once to have very long legs Joyanne did as she was instructed. “Now, jump and swing your right leg over and have a seat.” Ydara wrapped her handling tentacles around Joyanne’s wrist and pulled as she jumped. To Joyanne’s great relief she landed neatly behind Ydara.
The instant the horse started moving Joyanne wrapped her arms around Ydara waist as if her life were in danger.
“Joy, I will have to breathe at some point,” Ydara chuckled. It wasn’t really funny to her but she wanted to calm Joyanne down.
“Sorry,” she said and loosened her grip the barest bit.
They actually headed down the mountain for a quarter mile before the trail started upwards, Joyanne trying the whole time to get a grip on her fears. Ydara zlinned the silent struggle until she could no longer stand it. “Where did you grow up Joy?”
Startled and more than a bit distracted Joyanne almost answered before she thought. “A small town on the border.”
Ydara raised an eyebrow at the evasion but said nothing about it. “I grew up in a small town too. I guess if you’ve seen one you’ve seen them all. Was yours a farming community?”
“No, fishing,” she said trying to keep her balance and not choke Ydara at the same time.
“Well that would explain your not riding. Not much call for horses I bet.” Ydara chuckled still trying to lighten the mood. “What bothers you so much about them?”
“What?! Oh, um, they run fast.”
“You don’t like things that run fast?”
“No.”
“You must have a real dislike for Simes then.”
“Some.”
“Let me guess First Order channels right?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“They treat me like property.”
Ydara caught the fact that Joyanne had not included her in the group. “How?”
“They never ask they just assume that I will be at their beck and call whenever they want. As if I was born for their use and have no rights to my own body!”
“Do Thirds ever do that?”
“They always ask.”
“Always?”
“Always!”
Ydara thought for a moment, “Do I ask?”
“Yes, you do.” And finally she relaxed.
“I don’t remember saying anything.”
“You ask with your field. You don’t latch onto me like some demented leech. You stay away until I give you permission. Until I invite you to lean on me. You respect my right to choose.”
Ydara thought about that for a while as they threaded their way around the mountain. Who hurt you, Joy?
They rode on in silence until they reached the PMG office. The “office” was hardly more than a refitted equipment shed. A grizzled old Sime came hobbling out of the shed to meet them.
“Dara! Come down and sit yourself. I’ll make some tea and we can talk.” He reached up to Joyanne and offered to help her down. Joyanne took his help with a fervent thank you. “And who is this skittish little thing?”
“Joyanne, allow me to introduce Egan Edrian ambrov Trin Oren. Egan this is Joyanne Hallenbek Donor Third Order.”
“You came up here with a Third for escort? Dara, just because my nephew was called away on family business doesn’t mean you can mistreat yourself.” He eyed Joyanne with a great deal of disapproval zlinning her. Joyanne hadn’t been expecting it from a renSime, she instinctively snapped at him, or at least her field did. He jumped back rubbing his arms, glaring at her. Ydara interposed herself between the two and managed the fields for Egan.
“Don’t zlin Joyanne like that it’s dreadfully bad manners and you know it.”
“I’m sorry for snapping at you. You caught me off guard,” she watched the old man still rubbing his arms.
He burst out laughing, “You sure she’s not an Edrian Gen? She sure as shen acts like one. I’m the one should apologize. Dara’s right that was bad manners. Roy!!” he bellowed and a young renSime came out the “office”. “Take Stamp down and get him some water and feed. And check the temperature on that water this time.” He handed the reins to the young man and turned back to the two women. “After you,” and he ushered them into the office.
After he had settled them around his desk and given them each a mug of tea, Egan asked, “So Dara what brings you up here? Not that I’m not glad to see my niece-in-law whenever but you don’t usually make this trip for fun.”
“The Tecton is a bit concerned about the quantity of platinum coming out of the mine. They feel that PMG is holding back to keep the price up.” Ydara presented Egan with a rather official looking document and a selyn voucher, two birds, one stone. He frowned at the former and smiled at the latter.
Getting up he squeezed by the two women and yelled for Roy to go get Erin. “I was wonderin’ who’d be bringin’ up this months selyn. Thought you was a might highfield just to be messengerin’. Erin’s goin’ ta have ta stretch a bit ta hold all that.” He was still grinning.
“You don’t get all of it,” she pointed at the voucher with a tentacle. “I would have thought, by now, you realized that I can count without taking off my shoes,” she said sternly then smiled.
“Can’t fault me for trying. Now, what am I supposed to do with this bit of nonsense.” Joyanne heard the back country drawl drop out of his speech as easily as it had dropped in. It made her smile. “And what do you find so amusing young lady?” He waggled his eyebrows at her. Joyanne giggled. “Oh that is much better!” He smiled at her gently.
Joyanne’s giggle spilled over into her nager with brilliant results. Ydara moderated ambient and Joyanne, eyes going wide, immediately clamp that iron control of hers back into place. Ydara gasped and Egan hissed. “You didn’t have to do that.” He scowled at Ydara. “Now you’ve gone and frightened her.” Ydara sighed to herself. Very little finesse. Ydara glared at him and said, “Egan, you are incorrigible.”
Joyanne merely concentrated on doing her job there after, chastising herself for forgetting that Egan was renSime.
The rest of their errand went very routinely after that. Egan sent an official promise of increased production. And Ydara had given the selyn to Erin ambrov Trin Oren to distribute to the three renSimes in residence. All the other renSimes lived in the town and actually came to the Center for transfers. The odd arrangement was a concession to PMG to make sure that their mining interests were always overseen by members of the Edrian family. Erin’s Donor Rodrik ambrov Trin Oren had been rather grumpy as he was nursing a broken leg and wouldn’t let Erin out of his sight even though he was more of a hindrance than a help. They were both also mining engineers and stayed busy when not work as channel and Donor. While the platinum vein was large it had a nasty habit of disappearing suddenly from time to time.
Before they left Egan pulled Ydara to the side, “Does she know how ill she is?”
Ydara looked at Joyanne who was talking animatedly to Erin and Rodrik, they were Thirds and Joyanne had relaxed immediately with them. “I suspect she does and I suspect she knows the cause too.”
“Is it my imagination or is she a First Order Donor masquerading as a Third?”
“It’s not your imagination. She refuses to qualify because she doesn’t want to work with Firsts.”
“Any idea why?”
“Not yet but I intend to find out.”
So saying Ydara parted company with Egan, collected Joyanne, got her back onto Stampede and headed down-mountain to the Sime Center.
***
Ydara woke to subdued sounds coming from the bathroom. Joyanne was not beside her as she should have been. Ydara rolled to the edge of the bed and got up. In silence she walked across the room to the bathroom door. It wasn’t locked it wasn’t even completely closed. Ydara opened it slowly to find Joyanne kneeling on the bath mat and being horribly ill into the toilet. She was on her knees next to the Gen instantly trying to zlin what was wrong.
“Joy, Joyanne, stop controlling and let me help!” Ydara had learned, trying to get a hold on Joyanne’s nager when she was a solid wall of control was next to impossible. She wasn’t willing to say it couldn’t be done but she knew she couldn’t do it.
Joyanne looked at her through bloodshot eyes and considered whether she could trust Ydara. She knew she couldn’t fight this alone and the channel was the only help around. She released her control as slowly as she could watching Ydara for any sudden ill effects.
Ydara had to fight hard not to join Joyanne and hang her own head over the toilet. She zlinned her carefully. It didn’t take long to realize that Joyanne was suffering from a raging case of underdraw. Now how did she manage to hide this from me? I must be slipping.
“Joyanne, when was your last transfer?” Ydara knew the answer as she was mentally reviewing the file that had finally arrived yesterday from Keepsake Hill Sime Center. Even though Joyanne had brought a copy with her Ydara had suspected that she may have tampered with it. She had been right. Now let’s see if she’ll try to lie about it.
Do I trust her enough to tell her the truth, the whole truth? I have to. “Two weeks ago,” she watched Ydara accept that as if she had already known the answer.
“Why are you suffering from underdraw after only two weeks?” there was something here that she was missing but she couldn’t pin it down.
“I’m from Hamlin.” Joyanne watched the horrified shock come over Ydara’s face the way it always did when anyone found out what she was.
Hamlin! Ydara felt herself backing up nagerically and physically. Then she forced herself to stop. It wasn’t Joyanne’s fault what had been done to her – to nearly 30 Gens in that town. Now it all made sense the absolute nageric control the disproportionate emotional responses and the underdraw.
“I’m surprised you still have any sanity at all, Joy.” Ydara had never thought to run into a Hamlin Gen this far from the coast. An entire set of laws had been created to prevent the Hamlin tragedy from ever happening again. Embarking on his own crusade to fix the Donor shortage, the Hamlin Controller had induced every newly established Gen he could get to. It had never occurred to him that it would also cause insanity in almost seventy percent of them. Of the thirty percent or so who didn’t immediately destabilize most had experienced a long slow decent into madness and committed suicide. Then there were the ones like Joyanne who had managed to learn to live with their induction. And now that Ydara knew what she was looking for she could zlin the markers in Joyanne’s nager.
“How did you manage not to zlin highfield?”
“A trick I learned in First Year,” she shrugged. I just pull in. I’m not sure how I do it.”
“Are you still doing it?”
Joyanne sighed and stopped. She was highfield enough for a high First Order transfer and her field was still climbing. The constant exposure to Ydara was causing Joyanne’s induced field to match her capacity but it was out of control and way too early. “Now I know why you refused to work with Firsts. Did Mayborne know about you?”
“My records are sealed. Controller Archer refused to recognize my special dispensation without knowing why and I refused to tell her. She couldn’t force me but she did everything in her power to get me to qualify First Order.” Joyanne smiled sadly at Ydara, “Thank you for not running.”
“I almost did!” She smiled back. Many of the Hamlin Gens had committed suicide in transfer taking the channels with them. “Now what are we going to do for you?”
“I could do a couple of Thirds to get down to a tolerable level. I have done Seconds on occasion but they tend to aggravate my condition and then they fixate on me,” she shuddered.
“Even so you will still be high. Let me take you down to about midfield and tomorrow you can transfer with Orvis and Dasha. Do you need them back to back or would you like to wait a day between?” Ydara had used the word need intentionally because for Joyanne it applied. Joyanne hadn’t missed the use of the word. She giggled at Ydara and said, “I don’t want to put them off schedule so whichever way is fine with me.” And in her heart a tiny voice asked, friend?
Ydara smiled and said, “Orvis and Dasha have been trying to work around to each other for three months this will put them on schedule for their wedding. You’ll be doing them a favor. So, are you ready for me to take your field down?”
Joyanne looked at Ydara and felt something for her that she had never felt for any First, affection. “I had better brush my teeth first.” So saying she got up onto still wobbling legs and went to the sink.
While Joyanne was occupied with the toothbrush, Ydara cleaned up the small place were Joyanne had missed the toilet and flushed it. She then joined her at the sink and washed her hands. “I’ll meet you in the bedroom.”
Joyanne came out of the bathroom and sat down on the bed next to Ydara. She had never allowed a First to touch her in transfer even to take her field down. She was locked tight against the pressure building within her. She could feel the selyn resting in her cells like charged iron, heavy and electric and screaming to get out.
“Relax Joy. I won’t do anything until you are ready. This is not a transfer. I’m just going to take you down to just above midfield.” Ydara held out her hands to Joyanne with all her tentacles sheathed.
Joyanne looked down at Ydara’s arms. She’s treating me like a donor. And as it always happened with her she suddenly relaxed completely.
Ydara chuckled and said, “I know people who would pay good money to be able to do that.” She extended her handling tentacles to test the waters so to speak. When Joyanne didn’t tense up she relaxed a bit. “I have to admit I’m a little scared of you Joy.” She looked into the Donors green eyes.
“I won’t hurt you Ydara,” she smiled gently at the channel.
“Well then lets get to it.” Ydara waited for Joyanne to take her hands. When she did Ydara moved into contact position and seated her tentacles hesitating a beat before making full lateral contact. She waited for Joyanne to make the fifth contact.
Taking a deep breath Joyanne looked into Ydara’s moonlit eyes and pressed her lips against the channels very gently. Ydara began to draw very slowly at first. Then she increased the speed to just about what a Third Order channel would draw. It was over fairly quickly. But there was a rasping pain that ran along Joyanne’s nerves at termination that cut off from Ydara’s senses almost the instant she became aware of it.
Joyanne looked at Ydara intently as she dismantled her contact. Ydara looked back and waited. “I had been afraid you would try to qualify me.” A slow smile lit the Donors face.
“That wasn’t what I was supposed to do.” Ydara smiled back. Then Joyanne surprised her with a hug. “Thank you Ydara!” And a small voice inside Joyanne said, friend!
False dawn was hazing the sky outside the window. “I might as well get back to work.” Ydara rose and headed for the bathroom. “Will you be going back to bed?”
“I can’t sleep when I’m in this condition. I’ll shower when you’re done.”
***
The transfers with the two Third Order channels had been as normal as any Joyanne had served. She had gotten use to the rasping pain that always followed termination and had learned to mask it under a very convincing slilbliss which she had never really experienced. It seemed to be enough for the Thirds. And that was all she cared about.
Ydara had monitored and knew just how fake the slil had been even though it was an excellent approximation of something Joyanne had no knowledge of. Ah well, it wasn’t as if channels hadn’t been doing the same thing for renSimes for years. But we know what it feels like! She shudder to think that any Donor could fool her that thoroughly or would ever have to. She had only been over matched once and that had been an emergency situation. But Elia Edrian had not tried to fool her with a fake slil reaction at termination. The Sosectu Apparent in Trin Oren was quite a bit more than most Firsts could handle. Comparing the two Donors Ydara knew that at full bore Joyanne would be even more of an over match.
Suddenly Ydara’s attention focused close on Joyanne. Something was going very wrong. Joyanne was quivering physically and nagericly. The thing that worried Ydara most was that Joyanne had not clamped her control over the reaction.
Joyanne was trying desperately to catch her breath. The room was doing things that it shouldn’t and the floor was moving too fast. This is the worst one yet. She was aware of Ydara saying something to her but right now all she wanted was to be still. “I’m going to be sick!” was all she could say hoping that Ydara would get something to catch it in. When a trash can was placed in front of her Joyanne was grateful and heaved into it.
Ydara held Joyanne as she retched. The channel was fighting a loosing battle to control the nausea and dizziness. Desperation made her try something she’d only read about. As she was already behind Joyanne she ran her hands down the Donor’s forearms and made a full lateral contact. Thankful that Joyanne had braided her hair into the usual single plat she shoved it aside with her check and took the fifth point off the back of her neck. When she initiated a trickle of selyn flow Joyanne snapped at her which was exactly what she intended. Ydara was very glad that Joyanne was lowfield or the Donor could have injured her.
It worked and Joyanne turned to look into Ydara’s shining gray eyes. “Thank you, it’s never been this bad before.”
“What exactly was that Joy?”
She shrugged, “Post reaction.”
“You do know that that is not normal?”
“It is for me. But it isn’t usually this pronounced.”
“Joy, I zlinned something when we were in full contact.”
Joyanne cringed inwardly, “What did you find?”
“You are dying.”
She knows! What do I do now? She tightened her control even more.
“It’s a bit late for that. Joyanne! why are you allowing yourself to die?”
Suddenly it didn’t matter anymore if Ydara knew. “Did you know that I’m the last one?”
“What? Last one?”
“The last Hamlin Gen. All of my contemporaries the kids I grew up with, played with, got destroyed with, they’re all gone. I’m the last one Ydara. I should have gone mad or died in transfer or suffered a brain hemorrhage like the others but I didn’t. I have no idea why. I’ve just been waiting all these years for it to be over with.”
“But why are you allowing yourself to die when you don’t have to?”
“I don’t understand. What do you mean I don’t have to?”
“Your governors are a wreck but they aren’t completely gone. With therapy you could live a perfectly normal life as a First Order Donor.”
Fire ran down Ydara’s spine as Joyanne reared up as if to kill her where she sat, “NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! I won’t let that worthless bastard win! if it kills me I won’t!!” Even low field Joyanne was frying Ydara’s nerves. “Joyanne!!” The pain in Ydara’s voice penetrated Joyanne’s rage. Her eyes went wide as she clamped down her iron control tearing herself to shreds inside her walls trying to extinguish the fire of a rage she had banked insider heart for years. The fire would not be extinguished. All she could do was let it burn, let it consume her, let the madness take her at last.
Someone was screaming, and screaming and screaming and screaming her name over and over and over. Joyanne looked up to find Ydara kneeling over her in full lateral contact calling her name. As soon as she was aware of it Ydara stopped and retracted her tentacles. “You do have a flare for the dramatic, Joy.”
“Are you alright?!” Joyanne listened to Ydara. She could feel the damage she had done receding from her touch. Ydara was healing and would be fine.
“I’ve had less exciting days,” the channel shook her head at her.
“I’m sorry Ydara I didn’t mean to harm you! I... I can’t, Ydara,” tears were streaming down the Donor’s face. “If I relent then some other freak will try it again. There can’t be one success among our number. No more children will go through what we’ve gone through. No more experiments on innocents!!” Sobs wracked her body as she saw the face of the First Order channel who had given her a lemon drop and talked to her about becoming a First Order Donor someday all the while forcing her body to do something it was never meant to – that face and the First Order insignia on his shoulder were burned into her mind forever.
“Joyanne, there are laws in place to prevent it ever happening again.” So much pain!
“The only reason those laws are in place is because it was such a complete failure. If it hadn’t been the Tecton would be inducing Gens by the thousands and you know it!”
“Joyanne, there are induced Donors working in the Tecton. Their induction happened by accident, but they are happy and healthy and living full lives. They aren’t suffering the way you are. What happened at Hamlin was an aberration. The technique used was banned and will never be used on anyone again. It was the way he induced you all not the fact that he did it that caused the damage. Here’s a thought Joy, did it ever occur to you that you were probably going to be a First Order Donor anyway. That’s probably the reason why you have remained as stable as you are.” If you can call this stable.
“NO!” Joyanne backed up and slammed into an equipment cart nearly knocking it over.
“Joy! You are a First Order Donor and tearing yourself up inside is not going to change that! From what I zlin you are a First because you were already not because of the induction. It seems that only weakened your governors it didn’t destroy them.” Ydara put her arms around her friend and smiled. Yes you are my friend, when did that happen? “Joy, Joy, Joy, you need a good transfer.” The Controller in her took over as she mentally shuffled through the possible matches at Broken Promise. The only one close is me. She was scheduled for Evender. Nope, not gonna do that. She had an idea.
~*~*~*~*~*~
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