Mostly it's Neffies fault. Neffie is our Simese (Siamese) cat. Every night I go to bed at the good Gen time of around 9.30, 10 o'clock, and Zoe stays up until after 12, as Simes will. Neffie, torn between the cattish desire to curl up somewhere warm, and the Sime desire to stay up and hunt.. err, I mean play, starts what is quickly becoming a very disturbing routine.

It starts about half and hour after I go to bed. I'm laying there quietly reading a book and relaxing when she comes in and jumps up on the cupboard opposite the bed. Then she proceeds to look at me, very intensely, with her big blue eyes. If I don't react to the silent pressure, she starts making sounds. They are not the normal cat "meowwwws". They usually start with something that is very like a loud sigh. After a few of these she "nerfs", I can't think of a better word for it. If the "nerfing' is ignored, she starts on very short, sharp "me, me, me, me's" (I think she got that from listening to me warm up for singing). The next step is to get as high as she possible can, and try to get into the cupboards on top of the wardrobes. Of course, this isn't possible because they are SHUT, but that isn't going to deter her!

By this time I'm calling for reinforcements and Zoe comes in and removes the pest. She has a short time outside, but we don't like leaving her out all night because a) it's not safe and b) she sits and the door and loudly tells all the neighbours how cruel we are to her. So, after a quick run around outside she is let back in, and very shortly after that it all starts again.

Eventually Zoe comes to bed. Of course, I haven't been able to rest enough to get to sleep, so I'm still awake. Maybe with us both in bed and the lights out she will settle. You think???

It doesn't work that way. A quiet and dark house is just the trigger for step two.

Step two consists of a more forward attack, taking the battle to the bed itself. First she jumps up on the bed and sits quietly at the foot, lulling us into a false sense of security. Then, just as we are settling, she walks up to the head of the bed, my side, and puts her front feet on the bed head, indicating that she would like to sit on the windowsill, please. She is not allowed to sit on the windowsill, because the curtains are very fine lace and she would tear them and it's too cold to have the windows open! After I have convinced her that she isn't going to get what she wants in that quarter, she sniffs loudly, and heads over to Zoe's side. After walking over Zoe's head, she climbs up on the bed side table and turns on the radio to see if there is anything on. Once, we had to turn it off for her, but now she knows how to turn it off too, all we have to do is yell at her. Then she "nerfs". This clearly tells us what she thinks of the way we never let her do what SHE wants to do. This is about the time that the spray bottle gets pulled out.

A quick spray from the spray bottle, and I'm sad to say, we are all awake. Zoe sprays her with a little water. Neffie proceeds to run around the house, managing to sound like a herd of elephants, until she is dry. Then she comes back and starts step two again.

Eventually we all manage to settle down for the night, Neffie curled up under the blankets with Zoe where it is warm.

"Do you think we spoil her?" asks Zoe.

Eliza ambrov Halwyn Very Tired Companion to Zoe Farris Feel free to comment on this Chronical Return to the Halwyn Chronicals Return to Halwyn Householding