Our "barn" has, in the past few years, become a storage shed. With the sale of my milk goats it was no longer needed as a milking/goat shed and gradually we started storing bits and pieces of unused furniture, old mowers, plant containers etc. Eventually it became full and stood as a monument to Boston’s Irreversible Law of Clutter: "In any household, junk accumulates to fill the space available for its storage."
As I have recently bought a cow, and as that cow is expecting to calf any day soon I thought that I should do something about the situation. Resolved to throw out absolutely everything no matter how much it might be that we desperately need it sometime in the future I went to work. It was a hard slog and I was very proud of myself when I finally looked up to find that I once again had a barn. Then I looked up....
In the rafters was stored (as will happen in sheds) an old chair, taken apart for refurbishing. On top of one piece of that chair was a rather thick looking carpet snake. If it had been just up to me it would have been welcome to stay there - I like snakes. However, next to the barn is the chicken coop, and in the chicken coop my neighbour, Debbie, keeps her prize winning show birds (Chinese Silkies, if anyone wants to buy one phone Debbie on 5494 7622). When I told Debbie about the snake it became obvious that the birds hadn't gone off the lay because of the weather or because of moult - but because the snake was snacking on the eggs. And further more, as she had managed to collect eggs the past two days we knew the snake had been asleep for two days.
I phoned the Reptile Park in case they wanted to come and get him. They didn't. They suggested that I call a snake catcher. But that costs money apparently and it was only a carpet snake. I decided to catch him myself and take him for a little drive in the Forestry.
I fed Buttercup and put her back outside, then, armed with a stick and a bag I gave the snake a tentative poke to see just how asleep it was. It woke up reluctantly and decided to move house. Hopefully I held the bag underneath it. I guess I just expected it to sort of slide in willingly. It took one look at me and the bag and decided to stay where it was. I poked it again to convince it to come on down, and I must have poked it too hard cause the snake, and the bit of the chair it was sleeping on came crashing down on my head.
As I said I'm not scared of snakes, but I still don't like them dropping on me from a height. Understandably I jumped - but so did the snake who liked falling on me even less. He sorted himself out and took off into the hen house. This had to be avoided of course so I grabbed the end of his tail.
Brilliant idea, it stopped his forward process. Not such a brilliant idea, this snake is 6 foot long and as think as my arm and much fitter then I am! He couldn't move cause he had me on the end acting like an anchor, but I couldn't move, I had hold of a rope of solid muscle that had wrapped his front end around a post. I believe it's called "stalemate".
I needed help, and they are, after all, Debbie's chooks. "Debbie!!!!!" I yelled, and my neighbours can tell you I have good lungs. (Snakes, by the way are deaf - oh and they also can't see you if you don't move, they respond to movement and vibration.) Debbie came running over thinking that maybe the cows had me squashed in the shed and I couldn't shush them out. "What have you done now?" she said as she approached the shed "Oh my god" she said when she saw what I had done now.
"Go around the front and chase him back in" I suggested. "No!" Debbie replied. "Ok then, hold this" I said and handed her the end of the snake. Debbie took the snake and promised me she wouldn't let go and I headed into the chicken house and chased the snake back into the shed - where Debbie was holding his tail.
"I'm not letting go Elizabeth" called out Debbie, "but he is COMING BACK!!!"
I ran back into the barn and took the end of the snake back from Debbie. It was then only the job of moments to convince him that the sack was a nicer place to be than around two loud females who wouldn't let go of his tail.
Then we took him for a nice drive in the Forestry where we hope he will be very happy.
If you would like a snake removed called Debbie and Elizabeth's Snake Catching Service on 5494 7922 or 5494 7622.